Below is my personal ideal boyfriend check-list:
1. nice. kind. honest. caring. loyal etc. -
all those expected things that all girls would want is all included in this #1. fair enough?
2. decently body shaped-
not too chubby. not too diesel. not too boney. Someone's who's decently fit and whom I feel secure and safe around. I don't want someone who's going to scream like a girl and run away when I'm in danger lol, but I don't want someone who just has muscles to their advantage for the wrong reasons.
3. think before you talk-
(esp when arguing) i like guys who are more reserved in the sense that when you're in a fight w/ him, he wouldn't just say everything that registers through his head and yells everything out. people say anything when they're mad even when they don't mean it. It makes it so that you're solving the conflict in a more intellectual/easier way to work it out with someone who is calm and talks less than talk more in a fight. it tends to seem violent too
4. personality type: more reserved than outgoing-
Guys who are easy-going and get along with everyone. That doesn't necessarily mean outgoing though. If I had to choose between super outgoing to super reserved, probably reserved. I just can't deal with someone's constant voice blahbing24/7. Hard to find someone who's a talker and a listener. Every reserved person has a loud side. They're just loud and talkative w/ the ppl they want to be loud and talkative.
5. Supportive and trustworthy/ability to trust others.
If I go to a party with friends on a night he can't go, the fact that he supports me by saying "Ok. Have fun and be safe. Let me know if you need anything" vs. "Ok. Don't grind with any guys, k? Don't drink bcs I don't want you to be drunk."
Sometimes when you're at your most down times, all you need is someone to support you and comfort you. That's it. The fact that he is there helps.
6. Positive outlook on life and optimism-
I cannot deal w/ ppl who are always so pessimistic! Negativity just brings the mood down.
I say: Want to go ice skating? he says: That's lame.
I say: I'm aiming for a B+ in physics class. he says: You're not going to since you suck at physics.
Encourage, rather than discourage. Share positivity, rather than negativity. Be nice, rather than be mean. (what's the point of being mean? nobody gains on either end)
7. Respect privacy-
There are things that should be kept confidential like personal savings in the bank, passwords to emails, etc. Not everything needs to be shared in a relationship. That's not lying. It's just personal privacy and confidentiality. (if that something affects the guy-ex: STDs, then you gotta tell them, but things like money and personal email don't need to be linked and shared by both)
8. individual freedom-
Sometimes you might think you're free, but you're not. Relationships comes w/ a price. If you think about whatever it is that's bothering you, ponder the question, "Does being in this relationship restrict the freedom that I enjoy while being a single?" People who are happy and in relationship are ones who are giving up freedom to date others etc for the guy, but they would sacrifice that for the guy and that's awesome.
BUT if you are restricted of things that you enjoy doing but can't bcs your guy tell you not too, but you could do all those if you were single then you might not be happy in that relationship.
He doesn't let you dance, spend too much time with other guys, talk on the phone late at night with other guys etc but you can't give those up, well.... there's a problem right?
9. Humble and laid-back-
Arrogance and confidence are two different things.
Arrogance is just annoying and very unattractive in a guy, and when someone who has too much confidence, it might just lead to the wrong characteristics. A guy who is down for anything and isn't picky about things are so much easier to get along w/ ones who have too much opinion.
10. Curious and explorative/adventurous-
I get bored with the same routines and same conversations. Who doesn't, right? When you have the curiosity of exploring, you'll always learn and realize new knowledge and undergo experiences that you haven't before. What is life if experience does not exist? (philosophical question right there).
Studies have shown: if you're relationship is beginning to be boring, the way to revive the spark is to do things both of you have never done before. Travel to Dubai together! Go skydiving together! Go back to where you guys met or had your 1st date or honeymoon?
Lesson of the blog:
Each and everyone is unique in their own unique ways because of how we've been raised in the family, impacted by society and experiences we've gone through as individuals.
We all have our own personalities and therefore preferences.
Opposites attract but commonalities in people attract too. It's your personality and the expectations you have that determines the perfect match for you. On top of all that, how hard is it to have that person who match with you to like you back!
Life is hard. Finding the right love with the right person is even harder.
