distributed love

the short version of two scenarios (names are all made up):

scenario 1: Alina has been dating Jeff for half a year now, but seems to have a few other options. As much as she loves him, there's desire for more guys. Maybe desire isn't the right word. She still feels the attraction from other guys pulling her towards them. And yes, the word them is plural. There are four other guys as options. How can that be possible?

How can her feelings be shared? Even when she loves Jeff to the point she would not do anything to risk their relationship, Alina's deep secret is that her heart is shared. Can a heart and love be shared and distributed to different departments? Maybe she's just crazy because that's unfair to all parties, maybe it's normal because there's always attractions for others even when a girl like her is in a relationship. In a situation like that, where do they head towards? A stable relationship, followed by marriage?

When I thought she was just being selfish for trying to have so many guys all to herself, another friend (Anna) told me her story which made me feel more understanding.

scenario 2: Anna is single (that status can complicate or simplify a lot of situations). She has a few options for guys and is definitely not in any mood to jump into a relationship. She takes her time and tests all of them. Each one of them has their unique personality traits and characteristics that attracts her. The attraction can't be stopped, that magnetic pull is just present whenever she hangs out with each of them, individually. All of them has the same power of force, but different kind of force.

For one guy, it may be physical attractions and that chemistry that's doing the talking.

For another guy, it is the caring and soft side that pulls her towards him.

For another guy, it's the ambition and humor that keeps her going back to him.

There is always pros and cons in all.

We must accept we are all humans.

People have strengths and weaknesses.

It is how each person's own preferences that weighs each person's pros and cons differently that determines whether or not that person is right.

China (summer 2010) video is UP on youtube.

i let go

Letting go isn't so hard once you get it, but too bad i haven't learned how.
I set your wings free, to fly to where you belong (or at least where you think you belong).
Summer is a dangerous time, summer hook ups are even more toxic than I had predicted.
I endured through things I never want to experience in my childhood life, but because of you, I had to deal with the puffy eyes from tears and stabs in the heart.

"I thought we're just friends since sophomore year, right?" If I said right, I would have been gone from you since.

I would have chose not to go to your house at night, not celebrate 9/29 anniversary even after sophomore year, not liked the Valentine's day present. I would have distanced myself from you before I get hurt from you.

I knew HS couples don't last until college, but at least I would think you would wait until college to find someone. It's dammnn right that there cant be such thing as best friends between a girl and guy, because the friendship is always being risked when one of them finds someone else to replace you.

Sometimes, you think of all guys in the same boat.
They cherish you when they have nobody else yet, and trashes you when they do. Because having one person by your side to care for you is better than none, right?

Love makes you smile, but love also forces tears.
Where there is any affection, there will be hurts.
Where there's the most love, the more easily it can turn into hate.
My heart bleeds as I set your wings and desires free. (in memory of 8/23)

elizabeth

wrong way to ask stranger out

So I was in the soy sauce section in the supermarket, (thank god my mom was at another isle somewhere) minding my own business, searching for that item I have pictured in mind.

Random asian guy comes up next to me.

 I didn't even notice him until he said, "Hey whats up?"

I took a look at him, thought he was being friendly. "Hey. Not much."

Right away w/ no hesitation, already planned out, he said, "So you wanna hang out sometime?"

Never had anyone approach me like that. rly? seriously? wow. i said, "nah." 

then he just walked away without another word. 

This all happened in 15 seconds. THAT was a weird and awkward moment of my day. How much more sketchy and creepy can you get? Has certain guys get so desperate and unoriginal? I want to go inside his head and literally try to step in his shoe and understand what he had in mind. Would any girl fall for that? 

..........................

The reason that I was in the chinese supermarket today with my mom was bcs....

We made SUSHI for! yummmm. All types of varieties of sushi (all w/ cooked things cuz i hate raw meat) and Vietnamese noodle rolls. yummm. 

latest i've ever stayed up

Woo! Done w/ graduation!

Bugaboo creek steakhouse for 5 pm dinner. (super yummy!)

Chilled w/ friends-rented 30 days of Night

Horrible suggestion from the worker at the rental. Not a horror at all. Changed my whole view of beautiful twilight vampires cuz vampires in there were ugly and horrible. I would rather think of everything in a more beautiful way. 

Haven't played cards in forever! finally done w/ everything. time to chill. 

-big 2 (its an asian game. too lazy to explain)

-spoon (substituted pencils for spoons, so technically we played pencils)

-James Bond (match each piles into the same number by trading w/ middle of pile)

-drug lord (cards in middle, every1 gets one. Jacks and Queens=regular ppl. King=cop. Ace=drug lord. Ppl stare at each other and Ace person secretly winks at one other person. King tries to find out who drug lord is. its so fun! ha) i might do a vid on it ha

-BS (we all know this game)

(5 am now)

Another movie time! Couples Retreat. like 10 min into the movie.

...the 3 other friends all like falling asleep. 20 min into it (before they go on the island), I turn around and they're asleep. I got woken up (woken up? is that correct spelling) by a Tim*'s snore/cough, then I woke up Paula*. 

Until 7:42 am ish, I felt pretty awake (singing to airplanes and lady gaga on the radio) but i actually fell asleep and woke up at 3 pm. ay yeay ay am I too old to pull an all nighter already? 

*all names have been changed for privacy purposes*

drama on the road!

In the car, Paula driving (me and Tim in the car). This cab behind us was crossing the lane to our side so abruptly, almost hit our car's butt. You know driver's rage-->Paula got so pissed right then, just swearing quietly in a joking way. Tim (sitting in the driver's seat) got pissed too, what kinda driver is sitting in that cab? (that driver also honked mad times too, really?)

Tim yelled: "watch it buddy!" (cab still behind us)

The cab drove to the lane next to our right, now we're window to window. 

Cab driver: "F*ck u" (wow that rly got Tim pissed, he got the guts to do that?)

Tim now sticking up his middle finger, "get a real job" (ouch that really got him)

phew that conversation is over. and cab was still on the lane to the right but now behind us, slowing down bcs of traffic and the red light. 

O man, he caught up again, now same distance as before. window to window. awkward and both cars were filled with anger and rage. 

cab driver: "huh! u think its funny" in a ugly tone

Tim: "go eat your curry"  (hard to understand what he was saying bcs of his accent)

cab driver: "what?! u having fun? huh!?! u think ur funny" in an even higher voice. 

at that moment, i wasnt even quiet sure what he was saying. 1st experience like that. i mean i was afraid, but something like this had never happened. i actually got my seatbelt fastened. then again, what could he do? stop in the middle of the road/highway and argue with us? 

here's the highlight: he drove in the same lane as us, in the front. (literally, right in front of our car) now, im like holy sh*t....

the cab driver stepped on the brake for a second and kept going. but on the small highway, we could have almost hit his car! 

Paula: "what?! he want us to hit his car?" 

we were no longer going in the same direction anymore, but that was an interesting night (well 5 minutes) in the car. 

When I'm a driver, would I get that kind of rage too? Is it just like pouring more oil on fire when both sides are verbally hitting each other? In a situation like that, the one to step down would make the other feel more superior. There doesn't seem like there's a clear and smart solution in sight. 

18 yr old girl dont need this crap from bf

6/4/10 (well 1:51 am so technically 6/5)

yesterday, holy crap! chillin' w/ friends at *Carlo's house (1 am) about to watch Triangle. *Amy is having issues w/ her bf who cheated on her 2x. it's bothering every1 and we all kno dat they dont match cuz she deserves better but she always ends up going back for him. amy's bf is pissed cuz she didnt call back and claims that she's cheating on him? it get so out of hand that he actually came over to carlo's house that late to like hunt her down to return all the stuff that she gave him. rly? can college guys be anymore mature than that? 

next thing u know, amy's standing next to the window of his car, trying to calm him down. we see all those stuff she gave him all thrown on the sidewalk that we picked up. his voice gets louder and louder. 

"amy, just get in the car"i said to her. all of us got into Paula's car, including amy. her psycho bf backs up his car to where *paula's car is, gets of the car to get amy. he freakin punches and kicks the car, yelling at amy as we drove away. 

lost him bcs of the red light or else, i don't even know what could have happened. 

worst thing is: Carlo's parents saw everything from inside, called the cops. but since we weren't there long, the cops thing wasn't a big issue, they didnt eventually come. 

2nd worst thing is: Paula and amy's bf are cousins. paula's gotta explain things clear to her mom about the dent in the car. carlo now have a 12 am curfew & amy is basically banned from his house. o man. crazy night. 

please amy, just break up with him. so not worth it to deal w/ a guy who doesn't treat u with respect and no trust. amy-not at all a cheating type, such a goody goody, always tryin to be the bigger and righteous one. this is the 3rd time you guys tried, if it's not working. it's not working! relationships shouldnt be this hard. if it is (at this stage?) what about when u guys get even more serious? c'mon we're still 18 here, way too much for a girl to handle. 

*note: all names are changed for privacy purposes.*

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i hve to admit, i've been thru a similar cycle and it's def. not healthy in a relationship to deal with screams and yellings in public by a guy. i hate to say it but the anger comes out so much bcs the guy loves u so much that it's gotten to the pt of unhealthiness. whatever reason chris beat rihanna, hey at least there was love there. not saying that was right but anger did derive from love, it's just too much of anything is never healthy. even love. 

senior yr has been water just seeping thru my fingers. not sure if i want to hold on and stop the clock or to fast forward to college. before u kno it, there will be no water left running thru your fingers. changes aren't easy but im sure it will be fine. 

i've been so out of it. never been lazier in my life. all i wanna do is just chillax and be laid back. there's no more late nights doing proj, not one min of fuzzling over that complicated derivative problem, and in fact, even signing muchos muchos yr books seem like more writing than i've done in such a long time. it's time to move on to the college stage of my life and start fresh. but how fresh can it be? will i be a new "me"? how much different of me will i be in college?

graduation on sunday! and diaaaammmm ABRSM grade 8 piano exam! just the thought of it gives me a headache. not so much confidence in this one than all the other exams in the past. 

memorial day INSPIRED

it's more like cotton candy ha. nah it is memorial inspired. did this look on memorial day. very neutral one (ya know me and neutral looks). 1st time wearing natural false lashes! ahhh 
ELF compact eye shadow (ivory)-all over lid

Wild and crazy red eyeshadow-outer corner

-same color-focus on crease to build the darker color 

Jordana blue eyeliner topped off with blue shadow in ELF palette

tutorial @ youtube! dammmmn the lighting makes my skin look good. trust me, it's the lighting. 100% sure. 

zebra love!

ELF eyeshadow primer ($3)-placed all over bare lid before any eye steps

Urban decay baked palette-2nd gold from the left padded all over lid (blended a lil above the crease, but not too much so it keeps it neutral)

-1st brown from the left blended into the outer corner 

ELf pan eyeshadow (ivory)-inner 1/4 of the lid and inner corner

Jordana retractable eyeliner (black)-just from the mid-lid to the outer corner

Macy's zebra one piece dress-the high wasted skirt style. 

-added a red belt to it or else it's too plain with just black and white. 

Put this look with zebra flats. 

one shoulder is LOVE

H&M striped one shoulder dress top 

H&M simple plain leggings 

UrbanOG yellow flats

that little brown bag is............

a cute top from urban outfitters on sale for $10! 

going simple

as long as i have the eyeliner color that matches the outfit, i'll do it! eyeliner, top it off with the same toned shadow to smudge it upward or to enhance the color of the eyeliner. Mac paintpot (rubenesque)-barely shown because it's blended out all over the lid

Jordana retractable eyeliner-

elf palette (blue eyeshadow)-

how-to (simple): 

1. place paintpot all over the lid, blending it with the finger upward, fading. tip: don't put too much because although it's crease preventing, too much will speed up the creasing process!

2. Use jordana eyeliner closest to the eyelashes, creating a thin line. wing it out if you like

3. to pigmentize and smooth out the eyeliner, use a similar color of eyeshadow and press on top of the eyeliner. (blend upward to create a smokey effect if you desired)
You can't go wrong with a simple outfit: regular t and dark skinny jeans. 

beach dress for school?

temptation: eyeliner color and clothe color matching 

another day of high 80s. if it stays this hot, i'm running out of things to wear! 
no flash-regular room light washes color out like crazy! (but my skin looks nice lol) sacrifice 

now w/out the light but w/ camera flash, this is the result :(this is why i don't make tutorials too often.

what is dramatic shows up as neutral. what is neutral shows up as no makeup. 

what lighting is the best? sunlight?

 lamp? eh hmmm -.-

oh that side ways glance. oooo new lip love: Stila lip stick in gingerbread

I never wear anything on my lip bcs lip products aren't moisturizing and lip balm is just ehhhh. but hey, stila lip stick (looks like a nyx jumbo eye pencil) moisturizing and like a lipstick with pigmentation and color! 
that's the outfit for 5/26/10! very beachy eh? told ya! 
with flash? w/out flash? can't decide so there you go. both for the hell of it. 

another temptation: photo taking my outfits. i gotta stop this! this will not go on forever or else imma run out of things to wear! (honestly lol)

What's up: 5/26/10: picnic at a reservoir for class. chillin' on the grass. cards: president and BS. intense piano playing for the ABRSM grade 8 exam-few days after graduation- (yikes!) how much does that suck? 2 days after graduation-baam! piano exam. ewwwhhhh=eww ehhhh

a sunny day=dress

Wore this look with dangling earrings. Keeping it simple and casual and neutral and ...and... yea

Purple is the color for today. purple dress with purple eyeliner. brown eyeshadow is my to-go eyeshadow and below is it.....

The singing body heat of the sun pressed on everyone's bare skin. Unbearable, yet grateful for a 86 degrees day like today. 
A one piece dress. The back is the same string like shown the front but crossed in the back. Topped it off with a white braided belt. 

Time to get the dresses out! I'm not a big summer's clothes type of person since in the past, my summers have been spent in China and I don't usually bring my clothes back, I just try to buy stuff there to wear so less luggage to bring there and back. 

In the unbearable extreme weathers.....

Would you rather choose extremely dying hot or extremely icy freezing cold?

I prefer hot. 

epilator: emjoi emagine demo and review!

This is for all of you interested! yes yes keeping it real with how it works and showing you guys so you get a feel for the experience. Don't be fooled though! because the armpit hurts the least! and it's very very true! (but that might also be bcs i have a low pain tolerance lol) 

Enjoy! I'm glad that after my hair removal blog post, I kept more ppl informed and alert about the alternatives to just shaving and waxing. 

There are always choices in life, you just have to learn and explore them ! 

xoxo Anita @ honey2u666

woohoo! blog sale time baby!

BLOG SALE TIME!

I wish I can move everything but it's impossible to fit everything in a college dorm

All are in brand new or

 fantastic condition. 

First come, first serve. (have to follow through w/

 payment)

shipping: $3 flat rate (more depending on location & weight)

msg me on youtube or makeup.honey2u666@gmail.com

Lush Grease Lightening-used 2x-acne clearing away-$7 *pending*

(super effective tea tree, rosemary and witch hazel gel, a spot cleanser for acne-prone skin. Dab on a tiny bit (with a clean finger) of this wonderful gel and you'll feel it working straight away. Use it on one spot or many and watch them shrivel up and retire.)

Philosophy Microdelivery exfoliating wash 8 oz-used 3x-retail: $25 in sephora/ my price: $16

A mild, exfoliating facial cleanser that is designed to effectively cleanse the skin while providing resurfacing benefits. Gentle enough to use daily, this unique formula is sulfate-free and formulated with ingredients designed to replenish and protect the skin with topical antioxidants as it helps condition the skin and retain its moisture level. (it's such a great cleanser! my face feels so soft after it but since i'm traveling, I won't be bringing this!)

Smooth Away hair removal small pads (your choice of quantity)-brand new-5 for $2 

Sally Hansen lavender spa body wax hair removal kit -brand new in box-$5

Epicare (aka spring-it hair removal)-brand new-$4 each *only one left*

(review on my youtube channel-brief summary: ideal for facial hair. i have 2 for myself already)

Mac eyeshadow (sable)-brand new in box-$10 *pending*

Mac technakohl liner (greyprint)-$9

Urban decay liquid liner (crash)-swatched 3x-retail: $18/ my price: $10 *sold*

Urban decay heavy metal glitter (midnight cowboy)-swatched 2x-retail: $18/ my price: $9

*sold*

Clinique different lipstick (tenderheart)-brand new-retail:$14/my price: $7

Clinique high lengths mascara (01 black)-brand new-$3

Clinique high definition lashes (01 black)-brand new-$3

Clinique full potential lips plump and shine (Glamour full)-brand new-$4 *pending*

Clinique colour surge eye shadow duo (sparkling sage&french vanilla)-brand new-$5 *pending*

Murad energizing pomegranate moisturizer spf 15-90% left-retail: $33/ my price: $19

(oil-free hydrator, protects against UVA/UVB rays, leaves skin smooth)

Clinique dramatically different moisturizing lotion-brand new-$2 *sold*

Clinique even better skin tone correcting moisturizer spf 20-brand new-$5 *sold*

Clinique clarifying lotion 2-brand new-$2 *sold*

Clinique all about eyes tout pour les yeux-brand new-$3 *sold*

Benefit gilded (tangerine gold highlighter)-brand new in box-retail: $18/ my price: $12

ELF nail polish-swatched 1x-$0.75

Sally Hansen Xtreme wear(Green with Envy,Lime Lights,&Emerald City)-$2 each *all sold*

ELF studio line bronzer (golden)-high quality brand new in box-$3 (cheaper shipping than elf) *sold*

ELF kabuki brush-$1 *sold*

ELF makeup remover cleansing cloths-brand new-$3 *sold*

ELF super glossy lip shine spf 15 (Goddess & Malt Shake)-high quality brand new-$2 for both  *sold*

Stila lip color (natalie)-brand new-retail: $17/ my price: $7

Lancome l'absolu rouge spf 12 (luxe mohogany)-discontinued-retail:$29/ my price: $12

Revlon Colorstay for combination/oily skin (rich ginger)-swatched 1x-$7

Rimmel lasting finish mineral enriched foundation (classic beige)-brand new-$5

Missha BB cream for soothing sensitive skin-unopened in box-$9.50

(natural ingredients that do not damage or irritate skin. With continuous use, your sensitive skin will be calm, protected from redness and keep its health)-ideal for sensitive skin

Missha perfect cover BB cream w/ spf 42 (no.21)-unopened in box-$9.50

(a light foundation to heal acne and visible wrinkles with skin-cover ability and prevents skin aging through effective whitening and anti-wrinkle properties)-spf foundation and heal acne
Stila illuminating finishing powder (bronze)-swathced 1x-retail: $32/my price: $15

Stila eyeshadow trio (golden glow)-used 1x for video-retail: $28 in sephora/ my price: $12

*pending*

Stila sun spf 15 bronzing powder (shade 01)-swatched 2x-retail: $28 in sephora/ my price: $12

*sold*
Clinique happy apples collections cosmetics bag-$6

Clinique 2010 spring collections cosmetics bag-$6
Clinique metallic green pocket cosmetics bag-$7

Clinique pink get ready for spring cosmetics bag-4 *pending*
Stila lash visor waterproof mascara-brand new-retail: $20/my price: $10

Stila multi-effect mascara-used 1x for video-$4

Stila lip glaze stick (gingerbread)-brand new in box-retail: $17/ my price: $9

Stila lip glaze (brown sugar)-brand new-retail: $22 in sephora/ my price: $11
Stila convertible color dual lip and cheek cream (orchid)-brand new-retail: $22/my price: $10

Stila dual lip and cheek cream (peony)-brand new-$6 *sold*

(same 2 stila product with flash)